Unpacking Potential: How Do I Know If I Am I Using or Wasting Mine?
“You have so much potential.” I have mixed emotions upon receipt of this phrase. I’ve also heard the word “potential” mixed along with words like “I wouldn’t want to see you waste it” and “where can it be used”. Assuming potential is a resource that must be harvested and utilized. Toward what? What is the right use for my potential?
Characteristically — whether from family, education or society — I’ve been made to think my potential will be squandered if not used for some sort of capitalistic gain. I always did well in school; mostly out of fear of failure than genuine interest, but that’s a different story. I am a talented singer and took voice lessons throughout my teen years in hopes of attending college for musical theatre. I was a dancer most of my life and could have taken my practice to that coveted “next level.” I am an adept problem solver (thanks to the years of tearing through Agatha Christie novels). The adults in my life frequently told a growing young Emma that she had a lot of this “potential” thing, in a lot of different areas and they all wanted to see her use it.
The high of receiving compliments about my potential and the thrill of witnessing others’ excitement over my untapped talents tended to become overshadowed by fear and doubt. What if I committed to the wrong talent? What if I disappoint someone? What if I’m not using all of my potentials, or sacrificing good potential in pursuit of something else? What if I don’t actually like academics that much? What if arts aren’t a solid enough career choice, even if I’m good at it? These questions bubbled under the surface, and I was afraid of what the answers might be, or if they wouldn’t align with others’ expectations and dreams.
Even writing this now, I can see how silly it was for me to get wrapped up in what anybody else’s thoughts or expectations for me were. While it’s easy enough to reflect on this phenomena, it’s much more difficult to stand my ground while I’m confronted with external expectations. I also uphold a lot of internal expectations that can be even more challenging to move through. I can be my own worst critic, but I can also be my own best friend.
Potential — untapped, raw, but able to be utilized. Sharpen it, use it, take over the world with it. However, my ultimate question here is about passion. What about the things that make my chest feel lighter, that bring me joy, enrich my life? In a consumer society that values hustle, production, and Western ideals of success like money, marriage, and acquisition of goods that elevate our societal status, I wonder where there is room to ask each other about our passions. What makes you happy? Where does your mind wander during the day? Where would you be if paying bills, pursuing a traditional college education, and finding a job to pay the debts of the aforementioned standards of consumer culture didn’t infringe on passions — the things that make us feel most alive in our time on this planet? What do you love? What expands your soul?
I crave a world where “what sets your soul on fire” is as direct and simple of a question as “what do you do for work,” or even a question that can be answered as one. Just because my potential isn’t being utilized in a traditional sense — academics, money, relationships, professional status — doesn’t mean that I’m not living a fulfilling life. If I choose to pursue a passion, even one that I’m not naturally talented in, I’m of the opinion that my passion is greater than my potential. Passion has the ability to light my life in a way that potential cannot. Although I am a full believer that passion and potential are not mutually exclusive, I desire the pursuit of my passions to be respected in the same way as the use of my potential. I don’t believe that my potential is being “wasted” if I choose not to utilize it.
If you’re looking for a sign to abandon expectations and follow your passions instead of your potential, this is it.
