Social Media and Mental Health: A Match Made in Hell

As the old saying goes, “the grass is always greener on the other side.” Everyone seems to want what somebody else has, and social media is a breeding ground for unhealthy self-comparison habits. Keeping tabs on somebody else’s life and what they’re doing, day in and day out, can hit you straight in the “insecurity box.”

We presently live in an age where connection is at our fingertips. Between buzzing cell phones, screen notifications and barreling floods of emails, the cacophony of sounds and input that invade our personal space daily can be overwhelming. We are constantly made aware of what everyone else is doing - so much so, that it seemingly distracts us from finding contentment within our personal lives. Along with this constant input comes the weight of self-induced pressure. Pressure to perform well, pressure to make good money, pressure to be happy with the way things are: the list can go on for hours. 

Now, I know that you know what “insecurity box” I’m talking about. It is the one that lives deep within us, pulsing and aching at every swipe of our fingers down our Instagram feeds, our envious eyes soaking in photo after photo of strangers with the “perfect” lives, the “perfect” friends, the “perfect” futures laid out before them. It lights a raging fire inside of us, one that has us burning and boiling to do more, to be more, to accomplish more. 

Now, there is nothing wrong with itching for self-improvement. That nagging drive is what propels us forward and helps us to keep pushing through the challenges of life. Yet, it can become increasingly toxic and unproductive when you are traveling down a road of self-improvement for the wrong reasons. If you are improving yourself based upon envy — i.e envy induced by what you assume someone else’s life to be like, as a result of how their life appears on social media: you will never be satisfied. Why is that, you may ask?

Here’s the thing: social media is seldom a reliable source of information - it is more or less artificial. 

Tangled thoughts.

Pearly teeth and shiny cars in Instagram photos are merely snapshots of a larger truth. The thing is, we all upload the very best of ourselves online. Nearly everyone is guilty of doing so. We post our close-to-heaven highs and our close-to-flawless selfies, all filtered and glimmering and manicured. We post our moments of triumph and relish in addictive, dopamine producing praise when said triumph is recognized by others. We do not display our so-called “failures,” or the moments when we are feeling too low to crack a smile. Instead, we keep quiet when we are feeling lonely. We keep our envy inside of glass bottles, each of them threatening to crack from the pressure of being stuffed too full. We post our smiles while we’re hurting, playing pretend for the masses, and the cycle repeats. 

Whatever happened to being honest? 

I feel that social media has normalized our habit of hiding our struggles, as though they are skeletons in some bleak, cursed closet. It makes us feel ashamed of our own emotions, as though we do not deserve to acknowledge them. Realistically, negative emotions are an inevitable aspect of the human experience. Jealousy, sadness, rage, fear, loneliness; all are natural feelings. I personally believe there is profound power in being candid about our so-called “negative” emotions. Being vulnerable and raw helps to remind others that they are not alone inside of their sadness, either. None of us are, even when our own creeping anxieties and insecurities convince us of such. We’re all stuck inside of this weird, unpredictable period of time together, trying to make our way towards stable ground and happier days. You’re never alone in that. 

Unplug more often. Tell the truth when someone asks you how you’re doing. Remind yourself that one’s online life is not always the life they lead when their cell phone leaves their hand. Above all else, be kind and patient with yourself. There is no “you” better than a “you” that is true. No matter what you have or don’t - where you are or aren’t - you will find exactly where you’re meant to be in due time.