Positive Affirmations: What Are They and Where Do I Start?

By Emma Wright

The concept of “positive affirmations” is likely something you’ve heard, at least in passing, sometime within the last few years, and it’s about as simple as it sounds: belief in good things, repeat good things to yourself every day, and the good things will be true. Even celebrities like Jim Carrey and Oprah Winfrey have shared some insanely impactful stories of using affirmations and visualization to propel themselves to fame. It’s almost spooky. 

I know, I know — if you’ve been unfamiliar up to this point, practicing affirmations probably sounds like a load of hippie B.S. that couldn’t possibly get you anywhere new in life. But a growing amount of research actually backs up these claims. Although affirmation practices have been around for quite some time, psychologist Claude Steele published a groundbreaking paper in 1988 outlining self-affirmation theory, which basically concluded that individuals are motivated to protect a personal sense of goodness and integrity, and when upheld, an individual is able to better withstand threats to their self-worth and identity. Not only this, but self-identity is also malleable, and we all have the ability to strengthen it by viewing ourselves in different capacities. 

Understanding how the brain internalizes thought patterns was eye-opening for me when I first started exploring positive affirmations five or six years ago. I didn’t realize that my “self” could be anything other than what I already knew and that my reality was defined less by my experiences and more by the thought patterns I developed as a result. You have the power to change your mind, and it starts very simply. So after some years of practice that have included both incredible success and deep discouragement, I will leave you with some of my own tips for creating — and sticking to — positive affirmations that are uniquely yours:

• Write your affirmations down. In the journal by your bedside table, on sticky notes plastered on your mirror, stuck to the inside of cabinet doors or wherever you’ll stumble upon them daily. I personally like to leave a note by my bedside table and say it to myself a few times before I go to sleep. 

• When writing your affirmations, the Internet is a good guide but it’s also generalized. I find affirmations that resonate with me on the Internet (a quick search of “positive affirmations” yields a ton of results), but unless I truly take the time to relate it to my own life, give it depth, and rewrite it on my own terms, it doesn’t stick. 

• Believe it. Seriously, that’s the key. If there’s a tiny voice in your head that says “this will never work” as you’re stating your affirmations, then, well… it won’t work. Feel your affirmations in your heart and sell it to yourself. 

• Lack of success is not equal to failure. Is your affirmation too general? Does saying it aloud make you uncomfortable? Do you hold any beliefs that are preventing you from attaching to this affirmation? Whether or not you get to the bottom of these questions is irrelevant — the real work is in tweaking and adjusting your affirmations to something you truly resonate with.

• If you’re feeling stuck, take time to allow yourself to feel the negative emotions. Affirming good things about yourself and your life doesn’t mean you won’t have bad days. Embodying your affirmations also involves giving yourself grace on the days when you don’t feel as positive.

I know I just said that the Internet can be a generalized place to get affirmations from, but what kind of person would I be if I didn’t leave you with a starting point? Many of us struggle during the cold winter months, so here are some of my personal affirmations that are helping me through this season:

• I radiate warmth and love.

• I embrace the stillness of winter and allow myself to rest.

• I am safe.

• I define my own reality.

• Even in stillness, I am growing.

• I give and receive acts of love every day.

• The time I spend by myself is nourishing my soul.

• I am at peace.

• I have all that I need at this moment and I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

• I allow my creativity to flow freely through me.

• Even my darkest season is only temporary.

• I am worthy of success.

• I embrace the growth that I have done in the last year.

• This winter, I leave behind that which does not serve me.

Last, but not least: remember that you are enough. 

Recommended readings: “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” by Joseph Murphy, Ph.D., D.D., “You are a Badass” by Jen Sincero, “When Things Fall Apart” by Pema Chödrön.

Emma is a lifestyle writer for La Tonique.