FOMO: Fleeting, Optional, Motivating, Optimistic
The fear of missing out (or “FOMO”) is often described as an indicator that I’m introverted and antisocial - but what if this feeling serves a greater purpose? It’s talked about as a frustrating or punishing state. There’s no need to be afraid of FOMO. It’s similar to being hungry; there’s an easy fix. It gives us information about ourselves just like an afternoon stomach growl is a sign that I need a snack and a glass of water.
“Oh no! I missed out!”
Fleeting: This fear comes and goes so don’t panic. Perhaps you’re not enjoying the moment you’re in or you don’t like the people you’re with. Maybe you think you could be doing something more fun? Even first world problems look at FOMO and roll their eyes. When I think I’m missing out, I have a couple of options. Firstly, I can complain and get pissed off that I’m not doing the things that I’m expected to be doing or I can be pragmatic by changing the situation I’m in. FOMO is an emotional response like any other. I can also just let it pass naturally.
Optional: Am I really missing out on something? Or is that in my head? Often our feelings dominate in our minds. It’s challenging to separate feelings from facts but you don’t have to be attached to every emotion or thought that comes up. FOMO is just like being irritable. You can choose to stay sad or you can do something about it. There’s usually something to learn from noticing these feelings. You can sit with them or try to change how you are perceiving things.
Motivating: FOMO also reminds me to expand my social circle, plan to go to a concert, or find a new hobby. This fear helps me assess what I should change about myself or the way I socialize. I need to balance satisfaction in the moment with enthusiasm about the future. It’s easy to have FOMO and feel pathetic or insecure but it's an opportunity to get out of the house. Sometimes the fear of missing out is useful because it prevents you from becoming lazy. I am a very active person but lying on the couch watching Netflix can become a habit. FOMO keeps me from isolating myself.
Optimistic: The upside of the fear of missing out is that it’s a normal human reaction and quite common. Feeling this way probably means that it’s time for me to switch up my routine and be more spontaneous. It’s part of life, especially with the constant circulation of Instagram, Snapchat or Facebook stories as well as Tik Tok videos. If the experience of FOMO was unique to me then no one would feel the need to broadcast, mostly accurate, narratives about their lives all over cyberspace.
This is not necessarily problematic either, it simply communicates our innate need to belong to a group, event or concert, which may be just as cool as it appears on social media. It’s important to normalize these concepts as they become a larger part of the technological landscape. There are advantages to most things that contribute to our insecurity or anxiety but it takes longer to figure out what those benefits are at times.