It was three days after my one year anniversary of being diagnosed bipolar. No celebration here, just another day where I avoid my priorities by mindlessly scrolling through Instagram. I didn’t want to talk about it with anybody. I was feeling alone and unlovable. Instead of discussing the emotions that were killing me inside, I was glued to my phone searching for some form of serotonin relief. 

Lately it’s just been more of a trigger warning. Numb to pain, I stumbled upon a random street-style photo. I thought nothing of it until I caught a glimpse of the caption. It was the most offensive joke I’ve ever read. The caption read, “My closet bipolar because it keeps throwing fits”. I threw my phone across the room. As much progress as I’ve made in the past year, this post was enough of a reminder to reform my negative thinking. How could I ever become comfortable enough with my condition when it's so easily tossed around for a couple of cheap laughs?

Crocodile tears rolling down my cheeks, I hesitantly walked across the room to retrieve my phone. I wanted to do something about this. I clicked on his profile and fell down a scarier rabbit hole. This man had over 3,000 followers. According to statistics, there is a chance 30-50 of his followers are suffering from bipolar disorder and casually saw his degrading choice of words. My initial reaction was to send him a direct message and let him know maturely how inappropriate the caption was. 

However, I was scared. I didn’t want confrontation or for him to think I was being sensitive. I couldn’t go through with it and ended up just blocking him. I was weak and let down an entire community that I passionately supported. There is this sick mentality that people who are diagnosed with a mental disorder suddenly have to become mental health warriors and fight hate crimes at all costs. I hate to break it to you, but that’s not our duty. You didn’t sign up for this, but you also didn’t ask to be turned into satire. So where do you draw the line? 

It starts with your inner circle. I could stay furious at this man on Instagram forever, but the truth is I didn’t know him. I have no idea how he was raised or if he suffers from any disorders of his own. I know who my friends and family are though and what they stand for. The most difficult gap I had to acknowledge was the misunderstanding from older generations. Saying “The weather is so bipolar today” was just a figure of speech to them. 

There was no harm or trigger warning, and if you dare to say anything you’re a pansy. Imagine if we made comparisons to the weather to someone’s cancer condition? It’s still prevalent, but the idea of professionals referring to their colleagues as  “mentally retarded” is absurd and looked down upon. However, it’s another situation where mentally ill individuals find themselves on the short end of the stick. 

I ask that you stay extra precautious around your friends that you know will get hurt. It’s not about sensitivity rather than practicality. Anyone would easily get hurt by someone’s insensitive figure of speech. Whether it’s amongst friends or a social media comment, someone is always watching. Fight the stigma and stay alert with your wording. It’s only the beginning of a very long journey we have in front of us.