Moderation is not my forte. When I hear a new song on Spotify or see a movie I want to relisten and rewatch until I’m burnt out on the tune or film. My friends think I’m weird because I don’t get bored easily. There’s no need for me to spread out enjoyable experiences until I regret having binge listened to my go to Kanye West album that surprisingly lacks impact after the 10th time. Healthy habits can become less beneficial when you engage in them too much. Recently I’ve been working on a budget so I can monitor how much money I’m spending; managing positive emotions is a similar process. I want to make sure I have some left over. Having something to look forward to is just as important as enjoying the moment I’m in. 

I discovered running in the middle of the pandemic. Cardio always makes me feel good. It’s a natural antidepressant. I wanted to feel constant endorphin rushes. My day wasn’t complete without one so I started running daily. I didn’t take the time to stretch or cool down. There were days where I couldn’t sit down without experiencing muscle pain. Sometimes activities that bring us joy need to be done in moderation so that they don’t become unhealthy. Once I began to run and do yoga three times a week, my runs were longer and faster. I wasn’t constantly exhausted from yesterday’s workout and I made time for my muscles to stretch and recover. 

In my last relationship I had to find ways to moderate how much time I spent with the guy because too much would cause us to be bored of each other but not enough quality time would defeat the purpose of dating all together. I wanted us to enjoy each other's company and not resent one another because we never had any time apart. We decided to hang out three times a week. Eventually this schedule took the spontaneity out of the relationship. There are pros and cons to budgeting happiness. 

The benefits were that I looked forward to seeing him and I had the free time I needed to hang out with friends or just be alone. But the disadvantages were that I felt like dating this guy was a job without a paycheck. I stayed at his place most weekends for the few months that we were together. I compartmentalized our time together so that he never met any of my friends. During this experience I learned that it’s important to walk away from people or situations that don’t agree with you as long as you’ve thought about the consequences. 

I tend to bounce between extremes. In my first serious relationship, we spent everyday together for the first several months with few boundaries. When it ended, we had had enough of each other. Budgeting happiness is about finding a middle path between two extreme scenarios. For example, it’s easier to eat chocolate chip cookies every day or not at all. But the real accomplishment would be to eat them once or twice a week. Occasionally happiness comes at a cost. It’s up to me to decide if it’s worth it to listen to the Growlers everyday for a week but never again after that, or do I want to savor their songs for future listening?